The Authority Problem

What a wonderful world it would be if we could send every man who refuses to acknowledge the existence of an alternate opinion or way of doing things to a rehabilitation centre. I am certain we have all had our fair share of experiences with such men. More so as women, because somehow, when we present an opposing view with confidence, there is wonder in their eyes. 

It is the expression a child has when taken to Disneyland for the first time; utter disbelief, minus the excitement. Their minds, rusted shut by decades of unquestioned authority, struggle to process the audacity of a woman not only having an opinion, but having the nerve to say it out loud. Appalling. Off with her head. 

But of course, this remains nothing more than a fleeting thought in their minds. In reality, they either ignore you entirely, or if they have had some degree of social conditioning, they acknowledge your point and promptly overrule it. There is also a third kind, the most dangerous of the lot, the ones who have truly mastered the art of appearing reasonable. They pause, they ponder, they make a show of considering your words, and then they go ahead and do exactly what they had already decided to do before you opened your mouth. It is not unlike democracy in this country. You are welcome to vote for whoever you like. It changes nothing. All elected officials are self-serving and corrupt.

In the midst of this anger filled writing I ask my husband, what do these men who live on authority in the workplace do after retirement? His response, they bother and burden the one woman who is legally obligated to.

And yet, somehow, we are the difficult ones. We are the ones who need to adjust, communicate better, choose our battles, and pick the right moment. There is always a right moment, apparently. A secret window of time, never disclosed to us, in which a man is perfectly receptive to hearing that he might not be entirely correct. 

So you sit there in meetings where your perfectly logical opinions are dismissed because it challenges the ego of a fragile man. And you smile. Because what is the alternative. You smile, and you go home, and you write a blog about it.