Oblivion

For many of us women, the imposition of pink in our childhood felt unwelcome. It wasn’t just that pink was the color assigned to girls or that we looked undeniably cute in it—it was what the color stood for. It marked us as different from the boys, a quiet but constant reminder that we were expected to be softer, gentler—or maybe, weaker. The words “you throw like a girl” or “stop crying like a girl” reinforced this narrative, reducing our identity to something lesser, something to be corrected. People treated us differently. Everyone treated us differently. Boys were allowed to be just that—boys. But we, the girls, had limits. No one expected the boys to help with ghar ka kaam , but we were encouraged—no, expected —to absorb these values from an early age. We weren’t supposed to be rowdy, loud, or “boisterous.” We were taught to be quiet, calm, and graceful. Pretty. Pretty in pink. Over time, I started to detach from pink, pushing away everything it symbolized—everything associa...

We have to get our upper lips waxed and our eyebrows threaded And remove every single strand of stray hair and the world, the world calls it much-needed "self-care" Men in boxer shorts is totally okay and their ball sacks are free agents but a visible bra strap is a call for some chiding and our camel toes, ohh they definitely need some hiding Tanning is a very big problem and blackheads are the mortal enemy There are different creams as per the time of day Girl, without perfect skin, how ever will you slay? Looks are what “matters” the most for us Your beauty decides your worth   Honestly, no one cares if you are feeling fine Well, of course, the industry has 400 billion dollars on the line These double standards have become the norm boys will be boys, but girls gotta stay in form So buck up woman, it is time to dress, We've got the whole damn world to impress.  

Bite-sized review: After months of anticipation, I finally read "She Said" by Jodi Kantor and Megan Twohey, driven by my feminist perspective. It's a compelling and eye-opening exploration of the challenges women face when confronting harassment, even if they're prominent figures. This book is a must-read for all, prompting reflection on the urgent need for systemic change, particularly in the context of sexual harassment. It also sparked my interest in Indian sexual harassment laws, potentially leading to a future blog post. Full book review: I have been wanting to read the book “She Said” by Jodi Kantor and Megan Twohey for a long time now. It had been on my list for about 6 months. But it was only recently that I picked it up and finished it pretty quickly. Being a feminist, I knew I had to be in the right frame of mind to be able to read the book, hence the delay. The book is a riveting read from the very first page. It kept me engrossed throughout. Hence...

 I am fucking irritated and annoyed. If you are a woman on your period you might be able to empathize with me. But quite a bit of my irritation is not due to my menses but due to the lack of simple/ basic information regarding menstruation amongst men. For my peers who have spent about 25 odd years in this world, co-existing with women, most if not all men seem to have shockingly limited knowledge of menstruation. I can understand blaming our education system for not teaching this enough and our society for not talking about this enough, but I cannot absolve men of all blame when it comes to their minuscule knowledge.  So for all the men out there, here are some facts that you need to understand and a few pointers on behaving with women when they are on their period. We will start with the first section. What are periods? Some facts and no figures (don't worry) Basics first, so every 25-40 days (yes this range is different for every woman), our body releases an ovum and prepar...

Men need to understand that women aren't theirs to be ordered around or have them even define the rules of their existence. Wait, let me rephrase that, every individual needs to understand that they have no right whatsoever over any human being. If you are a part of someone's life either by legal bounds, for the lack of a better word, or even by their own choice, it is their choice. You could be a father, a husband, a son, a boyfriend, or even a friend, and pardon me for pointing out the males here but I am just in that state of mind, it is there, and I cannot stress this enough, their choice. They let you be a part of their life, they are doing you a favor.  You simply cannot think you have any stake, much less claim over any individual. All you can do is offer suggestions and helpful tips. You under no circumstances can dictate the boundaries of their life, I don't care how you are related to them.  And to be honest, I am tired of having to explain to men that when...

Assertiveness has become a survival skill. If you aren’t assertive, you are not going anywhere. More than your skills and capabilities what matters in the world is how well you portray what little capability you possess. You might be the genius who came up with the concept of the hype cycle (#gartner), but if you can’t market yourself, it is no use. In a world where everyone is trying to make an impact and make themselves more memorable, the ones who speak constantly are bound to be remembered. This is the era of the extroverts. The ones who can speak their way through life. People who surf the world on confidence and aggression. In today’s world, “ Jo dikhta hai, wo bikta hai ” and this system has an innate bias towards the outspoken, no matter how daft. Okay, that is a little extreme, but if you are not completely dumb and chatty and can speak your way through a bunch of conference rooms, congratulations, you are it! If you are humble, people are going to walk all over you. N...

I’m almost 10 years or so into my mensuration and you would’ve thought, aah it’s been quite long, women must be used to it by now. Let me tell you something, we don’t. Unbearable discomfort and out of control hormones wait to greet us every 30-40 odd days. And we are expected to function at the same level of competency, let alone talk about it openly. I remember as kids, it was very hush-hush. You weren’t supposed to talk about this, especially to boys who would snicker and giggle every time the mathematics teacher said the word mensuration. So mature. Now you will say, c’mon Shiro they are only kids, but sorry, if girls the same age are supposed to go through this, then we should educate our boys to at least not make it more uncomfortable. As a kid if I was down figuratively and literally, all I could tell my friends is I have a stomach ache, but how often can you use the same excuse? As an adult, if someone asks me what is wrong, I tell them clearly, I am down, or if ...

Have you ever taken a close look at the advertisements on the television? It is commendable how they manage to appeal to you more often than not. How they know which cord to strike exactly to make you emotional and feel connected.  So the other day, I was listening to some ad jingle, and thanks to Google's autoplay, found myself listening to the most emotional or heart-touching ads on Indian television. Well, having listened to about a dozen such ads, I felt a little offended. I realized that most ads are highly sexist and subconsciously promote the gender stereotypes of society. But this sexism is wrapped in so well in emotions and grand gestures that we all don't seem to notice it at first. Throughout history, advertisements have been marred by overt and explicit sexism, perpetuating harmful stereotypes and objectifying women. However, as society has become more attuned to such overt sexist displays, advertisers have adapted by transitioning from overt sexism to covert sexism...

We claim to be progressive, open-minded, and moving forward, but our progress appears selective and limited, especially when it comes to equal rights for women, women's empowerment, and the Women's Reservation Bill in India. These aspirations remain elusive, and the words spoken about them feel like empty promises. In 1996, the Women's Reservation Bill was proposed, and after 18 long years, it remains entangled in the claws of the legislature. Despite changes in governments and ministers, the bill languishes in the parliament, hindering the main agenda of providing women with fair representation for a more balanced and inclusive political landscape. While we may discuss and express support for these issues, our actions often fall short. It's easy to engage in conversations, express anger when reading about these matters in the newspaper, and offer unsolicited advice or comments. However, when it comes to our families, subtle yet distinct differences persist, especially ...

Civilizations have progressed, literacy rates have risen, living standards have improved, the world has shrunk but what has not changed is the attitude of society towards women. This is because the mental outlook of people is such; it has always been like this. Women have been considered an inferior race for as long as anyone can remember. They are not viewed as active, smart-thinking individuals but merely as vessels that carry future generations, objects of desire and the carriers of honor of the male members of their families. Rather in some societies a “woman’s worth” is measured in her abilities to bear children. They are considered incapable of making decisions and logical thinking. The woman is confined to the chores of the house and belongs within the four walls of the kitchen. You must be thinking that this is the scenario in some rural small time village where people are not that educated and still have archaic thoughts about the society. Well this is the scene even in th...